I Don't Care If I'm A Guilty Pleasure For You
by Muzik.Freek
Summary: Jocelyn's just had a bad morning. What happens when her neighbor is the only one to notice her distress?


You know how there was that one person you could tell anything to when you were in high school? Well, mine was my best friend. He was also my neighbor. Did I mention that his name is Brendon Urie? Well, it is, was...is. His name is Brendon Urie.

I'm not gonna lie and say we were best friends from the get go, because we weren't. **Far** from it, to be honest. You see, even though we were next door neighbors, we didn't talk much. If we talked at all, it was to pass insults to one another. We didn't become friends until the beginning of high school, where we found ourselves sitting beside each other in every class.

We really didn't like it at first, and continued bickering like brother and sister. Hell, we could be, if you looked at us. We both had soft brown hair and deep, chocolate colored eyes. The only difference was he had huge lips, whereas mine were quite small. Yes, we didn't get along too well.

However, that all changed one day. It was a Tuesday, and the bell for homeroom had just rung, announcing to me and everyone else in the halls that we were late. I, however, had no intention of going to class. At least not at that point, anyway. I was sitting against my locker, head propped up on my knees, crying quietly. To anyone walking by, I would have just seemed to be asleep. But that was far from the truth of this scenario.

Why was I sitting in the hallway crying when I was supposed to be in class? My boyfriend. Well, I guess my ex-boyfriend now. He came up to me that morning, pushing me away when I tried to give him a kiss. It was then that he told me we were over. Normally, I'd be okay with it, but no, not this time. Today had been our one year anniversary. That's why it hurt so much, at least, that's what I had convinced myself.

"Sleeping again, Jocelyn?" scoffed an all too familiar voice. Glancing up through the veil of hair in front of my face slightly, I saw Brendon standing in front of me with a smirk on his face.

I looked up completely, brushing my hair out of my face and glaring at him as best I could with my makeup running down my face mixed with salty tears. The smirk disappeared slowly, and he squatted beside me, uncertainty swirling around in the eyes that were so similar to my own.

"Jocelyn? What...what's wrong?" he asked quietly, reaching over to push a stray strand of hair out of my face.

I slapped his hand away, curling up against the lockers more tightly than before, attempting to get away from him. He pulled back, looking at me with curiosity, confusion, and...pity. I hated that look, the look of pity. I turned my head away, focusing on anything but the boy in front of me.

"Jocelyn, look at me," he said, grabbing my chin and forcing me to stare into those chocolate orbs. "Jocelyn, what's wrong?"

The next thing I knew, I found myself letting out everything that had happened this morning, fresh tears running down my face. He listened intently, and when I finished, he pursed his lips in thought.

"Grab your things, we're skipping today, Jocelyn. What you need right now is a good ol' junk food and movie day," he said, standing up and pulling me with him before heading to his locker down the hallway.

I tried to argue with him before he walked off, but when I opened my mouth, nothing would come out. I ended up nodding my head and grabbing my backpack and jacket before quietly following Brendon out to his car.

We sat in silence all the way back to his place, other than the occasional noise from the beat up car. He led me inside and upstairs to his room, saying he'd be back in a few and to make myself comfortable. The room was a bright red, but not bright enough that it hurt to look at. It was quite nice, to be honest. And surprisingly, it was pretty clean. Okay, if you didn't take into account the guitars, wires, and amps strewn about, then it was clean.

I went over and sat on the bed, my fingers sliding over the strings of the guitar lying there as I waited, After making sure Brendon wasn't coming, I grabbed it and began playing quietly, my fingers dancing across the frets.

I really didn't think I was all that good, I mean, I really just played for fun. But a quiet gasp broke my concentration and I looked up, shock written all over my face. Brendon stood in the doorway with pop and junk food in his hands, a surprised look on his face.

"Uhm...sorry-I shouldn't have-I just-I was...sorry," I mumbled, setting the guitar back down. Brendon smiled and shook his head, setting everything down on the table before sitting beside me. I stared at him as he grinned, realizing for the first time how uncomfortable I really was.

"Where did you learn to play like that Jocelyn?" he asked, picking up the guitar and setting it in his lap, fingers tapping the strings.

"I-uh, I taught myself," I said quietly.

"That was really good for someone who taught themself," he said jokingly.

I punched him gently on the arm, my smile betraying my serious act. For some reason, I now felt really comfortable with Brendon, despite our previous relationship. Maybe he wasn't so bad. Maybe.

We sat on his bed eating junk food and watching ridiculous movies that I hadn't seen in ages, like Home Alone. It was really fun, but I guess the exhaustion was clear when I rested my head on his shoulder.  
"Go to sleep, Joss, you look like a zombie," he said quietly, smoothing my hair in a calming manner.

"No, you could rape me in my sleep," I joked. I watched his eyes widen and then smiled at the horrified look on his face. That's when he realized I was joking.

"Joss, as hot as you are, I would never rape a helpless girl. And besides, you can't rape the willing. Now go to sleep Joss," he whispered, laying me down so that my head was in his lap.

I groaned quietly and closed my eyes, feeling him lay down, my head still in his lap as my breath evened out and I slipped into unconsciousness.

Since that day, Brendon was my best friend and we did nearly everything together, even shop. There wasn't much that could keep us apart, except for the awkward silences that would sometimes pop up. Every now and then, more than friendly feelings would become obvious.

We were sitting in Brendon's basement watching him and Panic practice, we being me and the other guys' girlfriends. The guys were pretty good, if you compared them to other local bands, which were pretty shitty, if you asked me. I was biased though; this was my best friend and his band we were talking about. As they finished _Camisado_, the power went out and there was a bunch of screaming from the other girls. This had happened before, so I just made my way over to the stairs and grabbed the flashlight hanging on a hook.

I turned it on and came face to face with Brendon, who'd apparently had the same idea as me. I jumped, dropping the flashlight down the steps. Sighing, I followed it and sat down on the bottom stair. Brendon sat down on my lap, wrapping his arms around my neck while trying not to shake. **Yes, he was afraid of storms.**

"Come on people, let's go back upstairs and light some candles," I sighed, picking up Brendon with me and carrying him up to the living room.

The others didn't want to stay too long and ended up departing within thirty minutes, leaving me and Brendon on the couch. He was still shaking slightly, and I knew it wouldn't stop until the storm did.

His wide eyes looked up at me from my shoulder and felt compelled to close the distance between us. For once, I gave into that urge and my lips met his. It was gentle at first, but my arms soon wrapped around his neck and my fingers laced themselves in his hair. His calloused fingertips found their way to my hips and we sat there like that, making out, for a few. We came up for air and the candlelight showed him to be blushing.

He looked away for a minute, then pushed a lock of stray hair behind my ear. He seemed uncertain about something, and that made me a bit nervous. _What if I had just completely ruined our friendship?_ His chocolate orbs gazed into my own and he grinned, making me smile in return. Brendon's grin faltered slightly and he looked down.

"Look Joss, there's something I've been wanting to ask you, even though I couldn't find the right time or the nerve to do it until now. I guess what I'm going for is-"

"Yes Brendon," I said, as my grin got even bigger.

"What? You will? Wait...for all you know I could have been about to ask you to have sex with me!" he exclaimed, trying not to laugh at his dirty joke.

"But you **weren't** and we both know it, so the answer is yes," I said with a chuckle.

Brendon sighed in relief and kissed me while pulling us together. I laid there comfortably on top of him, and rested my eyes. When I woke up, I was in a bed, with a warm body pressed against my back; an arm was draped across my waist. _How had I ended up in Brendon's bed? Did he carry me up here after I passed out on him?_

Not too long after that wonderful night, the band got signed and caught up in all of the excitement of going on tour, planning a record, making appearances…

That was all nearly a year ago, and I don't even get to see him anymore. Sometimes they'll be on the tv, or on the rare free days they'll be on webcam. We talk on the phone practically every day, but even that isn't the same as being able to touch and hug him. It's funny how we all wanted the guys to make it big, but never realized what it would do to us as people. Now that it's reality, the girlfriends have become the elite fan girls. Teenie boppers? Who cares.

As for Brendon and me...well, he'll always be my guilty pleasure, and he's well aware of it.


End file.
